Kolberg's Six Levels of Moral Development I learned about this theory while reading "Teach Like Your Hair's on Fire". Rafe Esquith (the author) spoke of success using it with his students. What I thought was too complex a theory for Esquith's Grade Five students, turned out to be a powerful moral guide in his classroom. This theory aims to suggest the typical projectory or moral development in humans. As always, please keep in mind children (and adults) with diverse needs, experiences and conditions when considering Kolberg's theory. (For more information, click the button below). In short, Kolberg suggests that humans move through six levels of moral development: Level I: individuals act to avoid punishment from parents, teachers or other adults Level II: individuals act to receive rewards Level III: individuals act to please or satisfy the expectations of others. They aim to preserve rules that lead to predictable behavior from others. Level IV: individuals are guided by societal norms and conventions. Level V: individuals are guided by their consideration of others' feelings. Level VI: individuals are guided by their own moral compass; they've established a set of personal rules or values that they are committed to.
Esquith opens his school year by teaching students these levels. Of course, students will fluctuate between levels based on maturity, context, or a given situation. However, these high expectations encourage students to strive for Level VI. He hopes to inspire students to be charitable, kind, mature, selfless and mature because of their own personal standard - not because there is a reward in store. He shares many examples for this lesson was useful to him. My favourite was when he took his students to Washington, D.C. for an education-based trip. He was able to refer back to Kolberg's theory when explaining why students must be quiet and respectful in the hotel rooms and hallways, or why they must be mature when dining at a restaurant. There were many incidences where waiters or flight attendants praised his class for this (unexpected) excellent behavior.
In the context of my Grade 2/3 Multiage classroom, I never sat my students down and listed out each level of this theory; it is far too complex for an eight-year-old to comprehend. However, during carpet meetings, religion class, or in opportune situations (such as addressing student behavior), I would challenge my students on why we should do something differently, or why we might need to change our behavior. Guiding the discussion to our personal image and kindness, I avoided justifying doing things to avoid punishment or earn rewards.
This theory demands higher level thinking from our students, so it's always going to be a work in progress, but I strongly recommend taking a look at the website (link below) to learn more. If anything, learning this theory has helped me be intentional about my own motivations, as well as seek to understand the motives behind others' actions.
Empathy vs Sympathy Brene Brown is a researcher and professor in social work, courage, shame and vulnerability. Shame and vulnerability are recurring themes in each of her books (which I've listed under "recommended books"). Brown firmly believes that we must deal with the things that "get in the way" (shame, vulnerability) before sharpening our skills. In a school-based context, between teachers or teachers and students, empathy is integral in relationship-building and inclusive environments. I learned so much from reading her books - and the heavy themes of shame and vulnerability were far more applicable to elementary schools than I had expected. I chose to include this in the website because sometimes we get caught up in methods and resources to treat our students, as opposed to working with our students. Brown's writing was a reminder for me to get back to pursing genuine relationships with my students and treat them as they are: humans with feelings who do not want to be neglected. Two important pieces from her most recent book, Dare to Lead, is on empathy in the workplace and empathy "misses".
Empathy in the workplace: Empathy skill #1: to see the world as others see it. In other words, perspective-taking. Empathy skill #2: to be non-judgmental Empathy skill #3: to understand another person’s feelings Empathy skill #4: to communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings Bonus Skill: paying attention
In the context of the classroom, Brown breaks down some key points to being an empathetic teacher (and this can absolutely be scaffolded to teach your students to be empathetic too!)
Empathy "misses": (Here Brown describes some common misconceptions of empathy, and why they are unhelpful.) I've presented the information as I read it in Dare to Lead, for an adult audience. I then rephrase the information in blue to consider Brown's ideas in a context for students.
Empathy miss #1: Sympathy versus Empathy Empathy is feeling with people. Sympathy is feeling for them. Empathy fuels connection, and sympathy drives disconnection. If someone was in a hole, empathy would be us peering over and saying "I see you”, and climbing down with the confidence that we can get back out. (Jumping in without a way out is enmeshment. We need to set clear lines about what belongs to whom.) Sympathy is looking down and saying “oh, that’s sad. I’m sorry.”, and walking away. The two most powerful words when someone is struggling are “me too”. It says “I may not have had the exact same experience, but I know this struggle, and you are not alone”. Sympathy says “wow, that’s bad… I feel sorry for you. That looks bad but I don’t want to know”. When someone feels sorry for us, it magnifies the feeling of being alone. When they feel with us, it magnifies our feeling of connection and normalcy.
Especially for students who cannot comprehend perspective, students may feel alone in their pain or suffering. By telling our students that we are willing to sit in that suffering with them (while maintain boundaries), we are assuring them that they will not be alone in the face of adversity.
Empathy miss #2: The Gasp and Awe In this scenario, your colleague hears your story and feels shame on your behalf – they gasp and confirm how horrified you should be. They’re appalled. Now you have to make them feel better.
In this instance, a teacher might react with fear or discomfort to a student's story or shame. This can further isolate and embarrass student.
Empathy miss #3: The Mighty Fall This is the person you confide in, yet they are so let down by your imperfections that they call you out. “I never expected this from you. What happened?” Now you are defending yourself to someone because they’re disappointed. This happens a lot in childhood and is a huge driver of perfectionism.
Students might consider their teacher one of their (only) trusted adults whom they can turn to for support. If we were the last person they turned to for help, and we react with disappointment, we will further shame them. We are not being empathetic when we tell our students that their mistake is detrimental and unmanageable.
Empathy miss #4: The Block and Tackle Your friend is so uncomfortable with vulnerability that they find someone else to pin the blame on: "Let's get them back, or report them!". You went to them because you're struggling with something, and they are taking the easy way out by refusing to sit in the discomfort with us. This is not helpful.
Empathy miss #5: The Boots and Shovel This is a co-worker who desperately needs to make it better so that they can get out of their own discomfort. This person refuses to acknowledge that you can actually make mistakes. They minimize how bad it is and tells you that you are awesome. They are hustling to make you feel better, not hearing anything you feel and not connecting to any emotion that you’re describing.
Teachers are busy and their days are full. It isn't hard to start dismissing student concerns when we have a million other things circling around in our head. But to sweep a student's problem under the rug and band-aid their pain with irrelevant praise is unhelpful.
Empathy miss #6: If you think it’s bad… This person confuses connection with the opportunity to one-up and tell you how they’ve had it even worse. “Oh yeah? Me too. Listen to THIS.” It shifts the focus to the other person.
It's easy to think sharing our own experience will make students (or others) believe that they are not alone in their feelings. But often, it is received as a notion to compete or one- up them. If a student is sitting in a puddle of shame or humiliation, it is unhelpful to them for a teacher to share their own embarrassing story. It doesn't solve the student's current dilemma, and in the heat of the moment, they will not be able to relate with "you'll laugh about this some day!".
Brown even provides readers with some go-to empathetic responses: “Oh man, I feel you.” “I know that feeling and it sucks”. “Me too”. “I see you, you’re not alone.” “I’ve been in a similar place and it’s really hard”. “I think a lot of us experience that. Either we’re all normal or we’re all weird. Either way, it’s not just you.” “I understand what that’s like”.